Sh*t I’ve googled as a mum

What did parents do in the pre-Google age? How did they cope without it? What would I have done if I’d been born in the 1800s? It’s a terrifying question that makes me shudder a little bit… Like, aside from the absence of indoor plumbing, severe lack of rights for women and…I don’t know, dysentery? It just seems like it was a bad time for everyone.

Thankfully, we are children of the internet, and there are many, many people changing the world with its incredible technological potential. Me? I’m just learning how to parent via my trusty old search engine, Google.

What are some of the weirdest things you’ve had to Google since becoming a parent? Here’s a peek in to my journey… And don’t lie, I know you’ve all got some of these in your search history​.

Baby search history:

  • Is baby constipated
  • ​Suppository
  • Coffee while breastfeeding
  • Can baby get addicted to caffeine
  • Why do I hate my husband
  • Will my baby ever sleep more than 20 minutes
  • Will I ever sleep again
  • Amazon buy How not to hate your husband after kids by Jancee Dunn

  • ​Concussion in babies
  • When do you go insane from lack of sleep

 

Having a baby can be hard. Having a toddler… still hard, but hilarious! The lack of sleep and other baby related concerns have generally been righted, but you find they’re replaced with new issues. Mainly owing to the fact that your spawn can now walk, talk and think for themselves. Bask in the shame with me:

Toddler search history…

  • Is toilet water the same as tap water
  • My toddler drank toilet water
  • My toddler ate cat food
  • Why won’t my toddler eat normal food

  • Red spot on bum that went away and came back
  • Can chickenpox be one spot
  • How to tell grandparent’s toddler’s first word was “shit”

  • ​Is sociopathy genetic mum or dad​
  • ​Toddler staring at wall and then laughing
  • Is my toddler possessed
  • Smudge stick for nursery​
  • Toddler now prefers cat food help
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